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- They said no Devs... -

Journal Entry: Sat Jun 21, 2008, 10:19 AM
  • Mood: Sweet
  • Reading: "Ring" - Koji Suzuki.
ジャーナルのカー。
A whole new world, that's where we'll be.
A thrilling chase, a wondrous place for you and me

______________________________


Untitled prose


The cold wind hits my face, bringing along little drops of the mist that's been forming over the last few days. Not much of a summer so far.

I look behind me, and I already can't see my house. I want to turn back, but she's waiting for me. I feel bad, making her wait in the rain. I know how much she hates it when her hair goes curly, but she looks adorable to me.

It's going to take me at least ten minutes to arrive at the swing park, and all I can do is hope that she's wearing her hat, so I'll feel less guilty. Maybe I should've agreed to meet another time... No, I have to do this now, or it'll never happen.

I remember last summer, when all she would talk about was Mellisa. Mellisa this, Mellisa that. I wished I was Mellisa. But I'm not. I'm just the best friend. Why couldn't Mellisa see what I saw? Or would that have just made Samara talk about her even more.

I'm getting closer now. I'm completely soaked by the mist that's slowly turning into a heavy rainfall. I am going to catch hypothermia at this rate.

My thoughts are interrupted by a vibration in my pocket. I slip my cold hand in, and retrieve my phone. The message reads: "Where are you? ): It's freezing out here! xxxxx"

I can see her on the swing now. She's looking around for me, I assume. I see a big smile form on her face as she sees me, and she leaps from her swing and runs to me.

"Come on, let's go back to my place," Samara says. "You look absolutely drenched!" She links her arm in mine, and we start to walk in the direction of her house.

She's wearing her hat. That makes me feel a little less guilty... she looks so cute... Moments like this made me wish that Samara was in to guys like every other girl I knew. It would make my life a lot easier, I think, but luckily she doesn't know that this is what I think. She'd probably want nothing to do with me otherwise.

We arrive at her house pretty soon, and her mum and dad greet me as always. We remove our shoes and head up to Samara's room, where she quickly removes her jeans. I look away, politely.

"Sorry, I don't want my feet to get wet." As she says this, she opens her cupboard and removes another pair. "What was it you wanted to talk about?"

"I don't think I should tell you..." I say, cowardly. I'm backing down. I can't do this.

"Oh, come on," she replies. "We're friends, right? You can tell me anything."

"Do you still like Mellisa?"

"God no. She rejected me long ago, did I not tell you?" Samara runs a comb through her short hair. Well, I say short, it's more shoulder length and tidy looking. Her bedroom light reflects in streaks of brown down the strands of hair being combed.

Suddenly I realise she's been talking the entire time I've been looking at her hair.

"Are you listening to me?"

"Yeah, yeah of course," I lie.

"Why do you even care if I still like Mellisa? You never really seemed all that interested in who I've been in to."

"I was just wondering, since I've not seen you talking to her," I lie again. I should really stop lying to her...

"Is this what you wanted to talk about?" Samara demands. "I mean, you couldn't have asked that over the phone?"

"It's not that," I explain. "It's something else, but I needed to know."

She's silent, looking at me, expecting an evaluation.

"I, uhh..." I cough a little. I know what she'll say. She'll say, it's too weird, we're "friends" and nothing more, bla bla bla. Do I really want to go through with this?

"You look cold... Take of your coat, it's soaked."

I'm glad of the distraction, and I remove my coat. I was never one to wear waterproofs, so to discover my sweater underneath wet wasn't unusual. Samara stands, and pulls out one of her own sweaters for me to wear.

"I doubt that'll fit me," I laugh. She laughs too, and says she wishes she wasn't so thin. She wasn't really thin as such, just small. She was proportionate, unlike me. My ass is almost twice the size of hers, but my waist has always been about the same.

She goes to another drawer, and pulls out another jumper. "It's my mum's... You're about the same size?" It's true, me and her mum are pretty similar in the figure department, so I accept it. Samara hands me a hair dryer and a comb to dry my hair off before I change, since my hair is completely soaked from the rain.

After I dried my hair, Samara spoke about how she was glad school was over, and how she could concentrate on her work more. She says she's disappointed about not being able to get her own flat like I had, and she hated the lack of privacy living with her parents and brothers.

I would have offered long ago for her to stay with me, but I knew that it would be too hard for me. It was selfish, but hell, I'm a selfish person when it comes to feeling depressed in my own home.

After I was dried and my hair was once again its usual long, tidy self, we sat down to try and talk again.

"So, what is it you need to tell me?"

I stare at her. I can't think of the words to say. I could just say 'I'm in love with you', but that's too forward. 'I like you' is too...childish. 'I have feelings for you' sounds like what a guy would say. What can I say?!

"Yuu.." she says. It's been her nickname for me since I was little, but I allowed no one else to call me it except her. She has a strange look on her face; a cross between confusion, and sympathy. She knows... "Yukie."

Before I can defend myself, and deny my feelings for her, I feel her kiss me. It's really sudden and unexpected, so much so that I jump away from her.

"Oh, sorry..." Samara says, standing up. "I must've misread..."

I'm still startled by this sudden turn of events, that I can't begin to say that she didn't misread and that she was spot on.

"Sam," I say to her as she walks to the other side of the room.

"Maybe you should go," she says to me, facing the window.

"But -"

"Just... go. Please."

I'm torn. I could tell her now, and save her distressing, or I could run, and escape while I can. "Sam, how long have we known each other?"

There's silence.

"I would say about ten years," I reply to myself. "You know how long I've been in love with you?"

She looks at me. "What?"

"Since we were about fifteen, and you suddenly realised that you hated guys. I hated them too... I always have, but I wasn't able to tell you." It was a weird confession, I must say, but everything else sounded even weirder.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

I can't reply. I don't have any answer. I would say I don't know, but I kind of do. Instead, I walk over to her, and hug her. I tell her it was because of Mellisa, and how she'd been in love with her for years.

"But I wasn't," Samara says. "It was always been you."

The moment is so synchronized to perfection. I kiss her, and the world falls around us.


____________________

HAH! They said nothing about posting my art in my Journal! :B I apologise for any grammar errors or whatever. I just quickly wrote this because I'm bored. Opinion please~ I hate the ending.

______________________________


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2.8.07; Dir en grey~ <3
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Devious Information

  • Current Age: Eighteen years.
  • Current Residence: DBSK's bedroom.
  • Interests: Asian media (films, TV, music, books, etc). Photography.
  • Favourite movie: Blue Spring. 9 Souls. A Tale of Two Sisters. 2LDK. Battle Royale. Memento Mori. NANA.
  • Favourite band or musician: Dir en grey. DBSK. Plastic Tree. TMGE. Se7en. Mika Nakashima<3
  • Favourite genre of music: Japanese + Korean.
  • Favourite artist: *hedspace77.
  • Favourite poet or writer: ~Dead-Doormouse.
  • Favourite photographer: `zemotion. ~18CRoWNs
  • Favourite style of art: Anything really...
  • Operating System: Multiregional DVD player wins at life.
  • MP3 player of choice: 16GB iTouch called Kujo II~
  • Shell of choice: Easter egg.
  • Wallpaper of choice: Xiah Junsu.
  • Favourite game: The Sims 2 with Nightlife.
  • Favourite cartoon character: Takako Chigusa (Battle Royale). Kujo & Aoki (Blue Spring) [MANGA]
  • Personal Quote: "It only happens every so...10 seconds or so."
  • Tools of the Trade: Nana - my camera, and a willing model (:

Devious Comments

~JonnyTheGreat:iconJonnyTheGreat: 2 days 12 hours ago
No Problem! Its one of my favorite deviations from you yet! Awsome shot.

--
~JonnyTheGreat's gallery is probably too edgy for you.
*kaasutii:iconkaasutii: 5 days 2 hours ago
Hahaha~ Ryu is rather sexy ;D

--
kaa nana hitomi
カーナナ
瞳眸
*hedspace77:iconhedspace77: 5 days 17 hours ago
Thank you again!
*gulps at Ryu...*

--
~ムック慕~
~BunnyCuddles:iconBunnyCuddles: Jul 11, 2008, 10:25:04 AM
Just to say, reply to that note on my other account. It is time to switch - BC subscrption has ran out lol.
xxx

--
By day - chasing the scum of the Universe, and by night, you're the wedding fairy!
*hedspace77:iconhedspace77: Jul 10, 2008, 11:40:43 AM
Thanks for the fav! I always enjoy looking at your page..(*wink wink*). I hope you had a blinder in Paris!

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~ムック慕~
*kaasutii:iconkaasutii: Jun 21, 2008, 6:25:29 AM
No problem ;3 I thought the little bucket was just too cute hehe~

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kaa nana hitomi
カーナナ
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~citrus-wedding:iconcitrus-wedding: Jun 18, 2008, 7:01:50 AM
thankyou for the 2 :+fav:s :D

:love:

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once you've browsed through the whole selection, shake those hips in my direction!
:lemon:
=ryu82:iconryu82: Jun 10, 2008, 7:06:04 PM
i love it

--
" you can't touch me"

ryuhei:)
*kaasutii:iconkaasutii: Jun 10, 2008, 5:47:22 AM
You like my webcam? xD

--
kaa nana hitomi
カーナナ
瞳眸
=ryu82:iconryu82: Jun 8, 2008, 8:42:56 PM
thank you :*

--
" you can't touch me"

ryuhei:)
=ryu82:iconryu82: Jun 7, 2008, 12:39:12 AM Mood: Hump
webcam

--
" you can't touch me"

ryuhei:)
*kaasutii:iconkaasutii: Jun 6, 2008, 11:56:59 AM
Hahaha I know, it's so nice ;D He's so hot in NANA.

--
kaa nana hitomi
カーナナ
瞳眸
*hedspace77:iconhedspace77: Jun 4, 2008, 7:46:13 AM
Your... webcam.... *falls to the floor*

--
~ムック慕~
*kaasutii:iconkaasutii: May 23, 2008, 7:00:31 AM
No problem (:~

--
kaa nana hitomi
カーナナ
瞳眸
*absinthebride:iconabsinthebride: May 23, 2008, 12:33:46 AM
Thank you for the favorite. :hug:
*kaasutii:iconkaasutii: May 22, 2008, 6:54:39 AM
Oooh i see xD
Well, I'm sure he'll sympathize haha~ I remember when we were like "...and which guy is this?" when we saw pictures of, say, Diru haha.

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kaa nana hitomi
カーナナ
瞳眸
*hedspace77:iconhedspace77: May 19, 2008, 10:22:02 AM
Hahaha!! Well, I saw someone had made a montage of all their Hide pics, there must've been hundreds, and in all of them it didn't resemble Hyde at all. I'm more familiar with Hyde, you see.
And... I think Karo knows about this mistake.. Hahaha!

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~ムック慕~
*kaasutii:iconkaasutii: May 19, 2008, 5:36:01 AM
Really? How so? (If it's any help, I used to mix them up all the time haha)

What tipped you off that they were different people?

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kaa nana hitomi
カーナナ
瞳眸
*hedspace77:iconhedspace77: May 17, 2008, 3:51:25 PM
I'm such an idiot.. all this time I thought Hide and Hyde were the same people! D'oh!

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~ムック慕~
~BunnyCuddles:iconBunnyCuddles: May 15, 2008, 3:37:40 PM
Brilliant.
I'm delighted xD
Haha he added me to Bebo. I commented him saying sorry for my dad rofl.
xxx

--
By day - chasing the scum of the Universe, and by night, you're the wedding fairy!
~kinme90:iconkinme90: May 15, 2008, 3:03:36 PM
Of course :D Who doesn't like them?

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It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt...then it’s hilarious! [link] Yummy yummy :D
Got a Naruto OC? Then check out the Naruto OC Club! [link]
*kaasutii:iconkaasutii: May 15, 2008, 6:56:56 AM
(: Hey~ Thanks ^^ It's always nice to hear compliments ;D

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kaa nana hitomi
カーナナ
瞳眸
*kaasutii:iconkaasutii: May 15, 2008, 6:54:11 AM
Everything is fine now (: We've been on three date-like things in the last couple of weeks, which I guess is good since technically, it's the only three dates we've been on ever haha and we're going on another one tomorrow, so I think everything is a-ok ;D

--
kaa nana hitomi
カーナナ
瞳眸
~kinme90:iconkinme90: May 14, 2008, 6:31:14 PM
Hello~ Great new uploads to your gallery ^^

--
It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt...then it’s hilarious! [link] Yummy yummy :D
Got a Naruto OC? Then check out the Naruto OC Club! [link]
~BunnyCuddles:iconBunnyCuddles: May 14, 2008, 3:35:26 PM
xDDD
It may take me a few days to be arsed haha.
xxx
How are things with "the waiter" now by the way?

--
By day - chasing the scum of the Universe, and by night, you're the wedding fairy!